To have a true friend is like to have a blessing in disguise.
Friends are an important part of our lives and often we live our whole lives meeting loads of people whom we term friends. We sometimes meet fake friends, we meet real friends and in other cases, we may meet true friends.
True friends are one of a kind and we will look at some of the characteristics that make them unique.
Below are some attributes of true friends that will enable you to identify them when you come across one – that is if you are lucky to meet one in your lifetime
- A true friend respects you
There is no relationship if there is no respect, so also there is no friendship if there is no respect. Every friendship is a relationship of which respect is of utmost importance.
A true friend knows the essence of respecting you as a person.
When you find a true friend, then you will find someone who has respect as a standard when dealing with you. Even in cases where you go off the track, s/he will respectfully talk you back to reality and wouldn’t insult you for getting things wrong.
- A true friend understands you
Understanding in friendship is as air is to life. If you remove understanding from any real friendship, then there is no friendship. A true friend will do their best to have an in-depth understanding of who you are as a person.
A true friend sees life, weighs life, listens, and understands you even without you altering a word, meaning that he or she does not only understand you but knows how to communicate with you.
S/he understands your life values, core value differences, morals and respects them which makes it easier for him to relate with you when others find it difficult to.
- A true friend is loyal
A true friend will support you in good and hard times. Not everyone is truly a Friend until you are hit with an Omen or adversity and then you need a shoulder to cry on.
A true friend will always be there in good and hard times and despite the distance, they still lend their assistance emotionally and financially because they tend to see your problem is their problem.
They stay by your side because they know how unique a person you are, they have such mindset knowing that you will need to be supported too.
- A True friend will wish and pray for your success
Frankly, humans in their nature can be selfish. They often think of only themselves and never of others at times.
It’s so rare to find friends who think and wish for your success and even more rare is to find friends that make out time to pray for your success. When you incidentally find one in such spirit, don’t let go, he or she is a rare friend – a true friend indeed.
- They are real
Often, persons who fit into the true friend category are smart and wise in their reasoning when It comes to dealings in life with people, but when it comes to you, a true friend alienation smartness and treats you normal.
S/he doesn’t try to outsmart you in anything, he believes that being real and direct with you is the normal thing to do.
They show their true nature in plain light without playing mind games when around you.
- True friends can be selfless
True friends will go the extra lengths to solve your problems after giving thought to your situation.
True friends in most cases try their best to carry you along even when they know that carrying you along might jeopardize their own chances of achieving a personal target.
Imagine going on a job interview where chances are slim for the number of applicants, yet your true friend tells you about the opportunity hoping that the two of you should go for it and the better person should be chosen.
He might not tell other friends but will tell you. This is one of the features that make them rare because you will get confused trying to understand why they do the things they do at times.
- A true friend is blunt
True friends are blunt. They tell you what you don’t want to hear or what any other person might not be able to tell you.
Of course, In our own eyes, we are blind to our faults and we tend to get angry whenever we are corrected.
Trust me, no one wants to be told his or her weaknesses, in fact, we tend to quarrel with people who are fond of correcting or pointing out our mistakes and undoing.
True friends tell you what they have in mind about you whether you agree to it or not isn’t really what they are considering.
True friends are like sharp knives, they cut us deep with the truth not minding whether you will feel happy or sad about it.
Oscar Wilde puts it the way I love it, true friends stab you in the front.
- A true friend keeps your secret:
Keeping of secret might be something that sounds easy to do for some people, while for some, it might not be.
You might be wondering why it is such a big deal, yes it is a big deal because true friends do it differently.
The difference is that true friends keep your secret even after a fallout with them.
So generally, they keep secrets well like a safe-deposit vault. So, whether you fight them or not, your secret is safe with them. They see your dark side and light side but still stand by you.
- A true friend is a friend without benefit in mind:
We know the saying when we say two persons are friends with benefits. Here in the case of a true friend, s/he stays with you without expecting anything in return.
Instead, s/he think of what they can do for you.
We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them- Thucydides
True friends don’t choose you with a benefit they intend to receive from you, they choose you because you possess a unique substance that somehow needs nurturing or needs enhancing or that you just got, something special inside you.
To really know the motive of people or see their true color, it is when you are of no benefit to them that it is revealed.
We tend to attract lots of friends when we have something to offer, but then not all are true, most are there for the benefit of what you are offering and will desert you the moment you stop offering the same, which is when you can know the true ones.
True friends in general are not after what they would gain from you, but what they would add to your life. They share with you without expecting anything in return so long as you keep on being ‘you’.
I guess they defile the saying that ‘nothing goes for nothing’, to them sometimes ‘something goes for nothing.’
- True friends value you
Being valuable to someone is an emphasis laid to show how important or worthwhile someone is to another.
Because they value you, they would never talk bad behind you. They rather talk good about you than talk bad about you behind your back, their other option is to keep silent when they do not wish to be involved in discussions concerning you because they value you.
How they are in your presence is how they are in your absence, instead of back bitting you, they will protect you.
- True friends defile distance barrier
A true friend doesn’t keep records of how long you called to check up on him or her when you are far apart from each other.
S/he believes that such details don’t count and that what really counts is what you feel in the heart, which is why even after a long break of communication if you happen to buzz him or her, s/he picks and relates to you as if it were yesterday that you last saw each other or last spoke to each other.
S/he is ever ready to solve your problems even at that distance for so long as s/he can offer a solution.
In this case, it just appears to you like you two just picked up from where you left off. Their love for you stays in their hearts no matter what, and distance to them is just a number in space.
- True friends don’t feel the obligation to be your friend
True are rare to come by, which is one of the reasons why their pattern of thinking is different.
True friends do not hang on to the mentality that they have an obligation towards you as a friend, they don’t expect you to also have such mentality in your head because they believe that what they do for you is as a result of who you are as a person which whenever they remember, allow them to do for you things they will only do for special people.
True friends do not walk around with the mentality that you need to be so tightly close to them to be labeled their friend. Also, the do not expect you to return favors before they are able to help you.
True friends are not necessarily your best friends, they can be ordinary friends whom you just know but are true in their nature. They are those kinds of friends you could say beyond doubt are like brothers or sisters to you without them being your best friends.
- True friends find you, you don’t find them
As true friends are hard to come by, so also are they hard to be found. In fact, you don’t find or choose them because they are the ones who find you.
When true friends find you, they make the choice of how close they wish to stay with you.
Their actions speaks for them, their reaction and attitude towards you is as a result of your reaction and attitude towards life in general and towards others, which are factors that can enable them to find you.
Do you have a true friend or are you a true friend to someone?
The Cruz of the matter is that time and chance reveal who our true friend is, no one can hide from their true self, or true character and no one can hide it forever no matter the depth of pretense, because there is nothing hidden under the sun that cannot be uncovered.
When you find a true friend, then you will question the need for too many friends, and then you will realize how less important it is to have tons of unreal friends, you can call them fake friends.
When you find one true friend, keep him, they are rare and precious, very hard to come by and only a few can endure a true friend because they hurt deep with their realistic style of living.
When you find one, then you have a blessing in your hands, guard and protect it with care and never take him or her for granted.
You may want to ask yourself if you fit into half or most of the attributes of a true friend. if yes! do you exhibit such in your actions towards any unique person you may have come across in your life?
What are your thoughts, do you have a true friend or do you think you are one to someone? Let us know in the comment section.
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