Definitely, there are different processes to making decisions that we often go through when trying to reach a consensus within our minds. Sometimes, we do this consciously, while other times unconsciously.
Often ‘we’ think that listening to people smarter than we are, is the best possible way to find solutions to solving our personal life problems.
In other words, we feel that taking the advice of greater men and people who have succeeded before us is the best approach to solving our problems.
I guess that we do think such a lot of times… I am a victim of this.
At some point, we wish we could replicate what they said or did exactly as they did it or do what they said exactly as they said we should.
While what they say may be true, the issue is that we most times leave a very important aspect out of the context- ‘ourselves’
The truth is that ‘what works for a particular person might work or not work for another.
What we hear at first shouldn’t be something we should rush into because we heard it from someone who has accomplished much.
If we have the wrong mindset and do exactly as we are told, we might end up losing. But having time in our minds to set up the mind in preparation for a task we are about to get involved in is a process we must allow ourselves to undergo before doing or going into anything. Whether physical or psychological.
Don’t be quick to act without a little after-thought on what you were told.
The Five Processes to making Decisions based on Other Peoples’ Opinions
We believe that these processes are always important and necessary for change and action to take effect when making decisions based on the opinion of others…
- Listen with a Focus
A lot of times we listen but not with focus, so our body is present while the mind is absent–we are absent-minded mentally.
Listening is a powerful skill that is essential to the processes in the decision-making processes.
Listening with focus requires a concentrated effort both in physical and mental form.
It lays emphasis on being attentive without any distractions which increases the chances of one’s ability to assimilate and understand what a person is saying and so allows us to pick key points and ideas which will be important in our decision-making process.
- Focus to Assimilate
Making decisions based on other people’s opinions can be a bit complex, which is why we need to think things through before jumping in with both legs.
In other for us to be able to begin to think of what is said to us, we must find a way to understand and assimilate what is being said to us.
It’s the first step, but it does not say we should ‘ok’ what has been said because we feel it’s the right thing to do considering who said it to us.
The person saying it should not really matter at that point, we ourselves, the inner us should be the deciding factor who should give the final order.
- Filter the Information
This is one of the most important steps to making decisions based on other people’s opinions that lead to a process of knowing what the inner self truly wants or what it can withstand.
The point is that whatever information or idea we pick up should be filtered and should somehow vibrate or resonate with our inner-self before we can run with it.
In most cases the information may not fit in with the inner self immediately, in this case, we may have to give ourselves time, let it go or just take action with a mindset to learn depending on how our inner self feels about it in its totality.
Our inner-self gets to do with our values and beliefs, it gets to do with our doubts, fears, the totality of what defines us, drives us and makes us tick.
Sometimes the mind requires time, meditation and rethinking in other to thoroughly visualize and accept a piece of the given information, especially when it is a new one.
At first, we may not fully grasp the full picture of a concept and then we find ourselves in-between crossroads.
It can take days, weeks, or months and sometimes even years to come to terms with that same information.
Sometimes we just need to give ourselves the time to think things through for the mind to come to terms with the soul and body before any action is taken, by so doing we are forcing the information to resonate with our inner self before we can run with it.
Filtering the info entails examining ourselves to know if what we are all about in person would be able to marry what we have heard.
With regards to your desires, goals, your life, even if you do not have a goal, you must allow your inner self to ask the inner questions of ‘do I really want this’? If yes, then how can I convince my inner self to agree so we can run together?
This is an important step to making decisions especially when the information is coming from other people.
- The Decision
Making decisions might seem like the simplest amongst the processes. While this might seem so, it isn’t. It’s definitely the hardest amongst them all. You have to decide what is best for you.
After considering and evaluating your options. It has to be you who would say, ‘go for it,’ not the teacher, or presenter.
They are only giving out their opinions or suggestions for you to decide if you are convinced that what they said is right.
You might not agree with all that I have written because your mind has done a lot of quick self-mediation, assessment, and filtering. This is the right way to go about it.
So, if after checking out all these, and your inner mind does not conform or resonate with it, then ‘you’ concluding to act on it is a ‘decision’ and also ‘you’ deciding to leave the options open until your inner self (comes to terms) can convince you to go ahead is another ‘decision’, but in the end, a decision must be made.
Taking Action
In the process of trying to make decisions based on the opinion of others, It’s necessary that we filter all information and decide, it’s also necessary that we act fast.
Clearly, this is the reason why we need to train our emotional minds to enable it to help us make quick decisions. Increasing our emotional intelligence gives us insight and also enables us to understand the difference between beneficial risks and non-beneficial risks.
The point is that sometimes we may find ourselves trying to filter a piece of information and then afterward, our inner minds tell us not to make a move. This situation, of course, maybe normal and wise but not always smart.
Remember, the majority of our life decisions are emotionally influenced and affected, usually because of our core values and differences.
When we raise the intelligence of our emotions, we get to learn to differentiate between risks that are beneficial from the ones that are not.
At this point, we take actions not because we swallowed all that was said to us, but because we decided to try it out knowing that there is a chance for us to learn something new which could be beneficial to us, either on an emotional level, personal level or financial level.
But you must increase the intelligence of your emotions for you to be able to identify and make good use of such situations so you don’t get-in and get-out without learning anything.
Take note, ‘deciding to act’ and ‘acting’ is not the same. The decision to act is a potential process while acting is a dynamic process in progress.
Don’t waste any more time trying to procrastinate. If it’s beneficial and you know that you have nothing to lose but to learn, then Just act, you will still gain from it in the end.
Life is full of risks and through them, we tend to learn the most. Don’t sit back and wait for the perfect moment before you begin.
If your mind senses any little lesson you can gain from something, and after thinking it through, it says you can go ahead, then give it a shot. Though we don’t have to take every opportunity, we still have to run them through our values first.
The important thing is to be the one making the decisions and not other people.
FINALLY
In essence, knowing what you really want and knowing what actually works for you is knowing and agreeing with your inner self. Don’t confuse ‘opinion’ for a piece of advice.
When making decisions based on other people’s opinion’s you have to be certain that your inner self somehow agrees to it, if not all, at least a bigger part of your inner mind should.
It’s important to note that you don’t take advice from people, rather you take their opinion and turn it into advice for yourself…that is to say- you advise yourself by yourself. This is how you take responsibility for your decisions and actions.
A piece of advice from anyone other than yourself is only but a suggestion or an opinion until it is transformed by the inner self -You. Until that process is complete, it should remain an opinion.
In a nutshell, a piece of advice on the outside is an opinion, while on the inside, it’s an ‘advice’.
All the five-step decision-making processes can happen in a matter of milliseconds for some people, while for others, it can happen in a matter of seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and even years.
It doesn’t really matter when what matters is that you come to terms with your inner-self.
In the end, the decision is yours to make, even as you are reading through this content, you don’t have to take in all that have been said hook, line, and sinker as it’s all an opinion.
You have to relay it to your inner-self in your own way and come out with a conclusion – your conclusion, your decision.
Always remember, people only suggest and opium, while we filter, advise and decide within us. It’s always our decision to make in the end.
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