4 easiest ways to kill a relationship

One of the easiest ways to kill a relationship is to neglect and fail to address issues as they arise.

You may live together and still not be together. Two persons can be in a relationship and still not be together because one way or the other, one or both partners may have lost touch with what brought them together in the first place.

Relationships, in the beginning, most times look rosy and smooth. Everyone is smiling, and then suddenly along the line through the years things begin to change.

The laughter begins to fade, the friendship begins to dwindle, the happiness begins to die off and the relationship begins to crack. 

Then comes the question of what really went wrong. It’s easy to kill a relationship when the following is the case.

Let us take a look at some of the easiest ways to kill a relationship. What can make a relationship go from forever together to never together?  

1. Lack of mutual goal 

Lack of a mutual goal kills a relationship slowly as it cuts into its fabrics unknown to both parties because they did not define it at first.

Some people go into relationships for various reasons and once the goals differ, the chances of that relationship cracking get high.

It’s simple, having different goals is one of the reasons why relationships do not last that long. When these goals are not openly communicated from the start, it makes it difficult for the partners to understand how to go about handling the relationship.

Some persons, because of their understanding of what a relationship is and is not, go into a relationship with an attitude of I don’t care what my partner really thinks. 

If he loves me then he has to be ready to take in everything I say or do without a fight or comment.

This is where they say if one loves you he will take you the way you are. That is to say that even if you are stupid, the person should never complain because they are in a relationship and should be able to accept you the way you are since they met you like that.

This is where issues in relationships begin because people like those who do not know what is expected and not expected of them and their partner in the relationship always get in with such a mindset. 

All they want is to go ahead to do whatever they deem fit and expect their partner to be there no matter what. 

This is where relationship counseling and advice can come in to play a great role in helping two people sort out their differences.

Firstly, it’s important to know what exactly one wants out of a relationship before one gets into it, or else one may soon be rushing out of it. 

It’s also important to be sure you share similar relationship goals with your partner to know if your goals aline or not so that one person doesn’t waste the other person’s time and energy in the name of the relationship.

2. Cutting off Communication

Communication is like the lifeblood of a relationship. It is the air that relationships breathe. 

Effective communication is very important.

Often times at the beginning of a relationship, the communication starts out strong and both parties are happy to speak to each other, check up on each other, and know what each other is up to. Can’t sleep without hearing each other’s voices. 

That is communication making sure that both parties are able to hear each other at some point. Communication is helpful in telling each other how they feel about issues arising that either one of them may not truly fancy. 

By communicating a challenge with the other partner, they are aware of a situation that can likely create problems in their relationship. This will allow them to work hard never to repeat it again, or come up with an explanation for why they had to do what they did.

When you communicate with your partner you show them that you respect them enough and that you are committed to making the relationship work out. 

Active communication is an indication of so many things. When you communicate, you send out a message that you value your partner and you cherish their presence. 

Any relationship that isn’t communicating is building fire around itself because its chances of failing will only grow bigger by the day.

Without communication, there will be a disconnect and you will lose touch with whatever brought you together the first time. 

Communication allows connections to grow, it allows the building of trust, and it gives conviction to your partner that your head is in the game you two agreed to play together. 

Communication in a relationship allows understanding your partner’s needs and feelings to be easy. Because the more you communicate, the more you understand and the more you get closer to your partner.

The more the ‘communication’, the more the chances of love growing increase. Communication aids in conflict resolution as it makes it easy for you and your partner to easily open up to what is going on in your mind. 

Without open and honest communication, it can be difficult to resolve conflicts and understand one another’s needs and feelings. 

Without effectively communicating with one another, the chances of misunderstandings, resentment, and a breakdown of trust arising go through the roof. When communication breaks down, important issues may go unaddressed, and small problems can quickly escalate into bigger ones. 

It is vital to note that communication can take many forms, not just verbal, it can be non-verbal, or with actions too, so lack of understanding and missing cues can also fall under a lack of communication problem.

In a nutshell, if you are looking for the easiest way to kill a relationship, this is it. The moment you stop communicating with your partner is the moment you begin to build a wall between you two which will appear invincible but will be visible in time.

When you and your partner are not able to communicate effectively with one another, it can make it difficult for you to support and understand one another, which can ultimately lead to the breakdown of the relationship. 

Breakdown and cutting-off communication is the easiest way to kill a relationship and you and your partner have to be very conscious of it if you value your relationship. 

3. Utilization of hard, harsh, demeaning, and abusive language

Looking for another easy way to kill a relationship? Here it is. We would have said lack of respect because that is part of the reasons that can make someone lose their cool and use harsh, demeaning, abusive, insulting words on someone else or their partner. 

We wanted to hit the nail on its head by calling it what it is and why we added the word ‘hard’ to lay emphasis on how bad the words abusive, harsh, demeaning, and insulting words can be. 

Abusive words hit the mind hard and the destruction they cause in the mind may probably never be repaired. The use of abusive words on a partner can kill a relationship before it even begins. 

Remember that you may be together with your partner but not be together with them in the relationship. Once you give them reasons to lose sight of the relationship goal, it becomes impossible to bring them back in.

Insulting your partner by the use of words you may think are mere, has a ripple effect on their emotional mind.

Its effect is more psychological and mental than it appears on the surface.

Some persons in relationships do not apply restraint when they are dealing with their partners. 

If how you treat and speak to others is how you treat and speak to your partner, it simply means that your partner isn’t special. Possibly, you are just in the relationship because maybe you just need to be with someone.

There is no excuse for insults, and abuse especially when it is in words. Being physically violent of course is a No No, but that already gives you a cue that your relationship is cracking along the line because you know what you did. 

It’s important to note that verbal abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse, and it should not be dismissed.

The action that kills a relationship the easiest which you wouldn’t see coming is the use of hard abusive, inappropriate words on your partner. 

What happens is that the love still remains, but the connection gets lost. Peace of mind gets lost. 

Now let us delve a bit deeper into what truly happens in the person’s mind.

How Abusive words Likely Unfolds in a Partner’s Mind

First of all, it’s important to note that words as they say are powerful are truly powerful in the real sense. This statement isn’t just a mere sentence, it is real. Words have the ability to shape how we see ourselves and the world around us 

Every good or bad word you use on people has it ripple effect on their minds and thought processes. Saying a word to someone is an action that comes with a psychological reaction.

Once you curse or insult your partner, you send a message to their mind that you do not care about them enough, you do not value them enough and you do not respect either them or the relationship enough.

At this point, they will begin to process in their minds why you had to say such things to them.

They will begin to question themselves and the relationship in their mind. Somehow you begin to kill the being that makes them being.

Their emotional esteem and their beliefs about themselves will be put into question.

The reality is that when someone is repeatedly subjected to abusive and insulting language, it can cause them to internalize these negative messages and begin to believe them. 

The emotional impact of verbal abuse can be severe and can cause feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt, and depression.

People who are subjected to verbal abuse may also experience anxiety, fear, or emotional numbness. They may struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth.

They will begin to disconnect from their partner little by little because they do not feel safe again around them. 

At this point, their mental health is at stake and they will somehow begin to avoid having altercations with their partner so as to protect their mental health. 

To lay emphasis on the power of words, some particular types of words said to people have caused some people to take their own lives in real life. You might want to put that into consideration.

Saying to your partner sentences like “‘ you are good for nothing’ or ‘you are a useless person’” to your partner says a lot about you and what you think of them.

Do not think that you are just saying that because you felt angry at the time. Those are inexcusable because if you said it, it means that you already have that thought in your mind and the opportunity presented itself and forced it out of you. That is to say that you meant it.  

Additionally, verbal abuse can also have a long-term psychological impact on an individual. It can lead to mental health conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, or anxiety disorders.

You will be making a huge mistake when you do not apply retrains in your use of words because words are powerful things and people take them very seriously. 

You might want to keep this saying close to your mind – If you want to truly know a man, test his penchant for money, his stimuli to anger, and his character in power. If he hasn’t fixed these three things, then he has bigger problems than you can ever imagine.

It is also important to note that Power, anger, and money are personality dictators. You can not separate these facts from life because they will always be there to show who people really are. This is why emotional intelligence is so important in life and in relationships.

So do not deceive yourself and feel that you said those words out of anger. As you are saying to them, this is the moment your partner is making a new counter decision in their mind on how to curb such situations.

This is because they will internalize and keep those words close to their heart. The reason why they would want to make new decisions about the relationship is that they intend to protect their mental health and also have peace of mind even if it means breaking up the relationship. 

Verbal abuse can happen in any kind of relationship and it can have a cumulative impact, which means the longer it happens, the greater the impact will be.

So if you are not looking for the easiest way to kill off your relationship, then apply common-sense reasoning and try all you can to not say more than you should when you are angry. 

If you truly value your relationship then be careful to choose your words wisely as the power to make or break is in your tongue.

4. Effect of Comparisons

If we speak of the easiest ways to kill a relationship, we must look at a silent relationship killer in the form of Comparison. No one likes being compared to others for any reason. Nothing kills self-esteem more than that.

When a partner says – “‘look at your mates’, ‘look at your neighbor’, ‘look at your friend’, ‘look at this and that person’ etc ‘they can do this and that while you can’t do anything’, ‘you are not good enough and I am beginning to think that I made a mistake getting married to you'”.

When you say such things to your partner, what you ended up doing is question their capability and capacity.

What it also means as a message to your partner is that you are beginning to have doubt about your relationship with them.

Because of course, you knew how they were before you agreed to end up with them. So right now you bring up all these?

Their inability to give you what you need is making you have doubts. 

Or in cases where you ask for something and then you were not given it because your partner can’t provide it at that moment. But Instead of keeping calm, you decide to mention someone else whom you can get it from that can provide it for you at the moment.

What you are doing is indirectly telling your partner that they are not enough for you. This forces them to disconnect from you in one way or another as the day goes by.

Let’s break it down a bit further.

Comparing your partner to other couples or your exes can be detrimental to your relationship for several reasons:

• Comparison undermines the trust in a relationship: By constantly comparing your partner to others, they begin to feel insecure and unsure of their place in the relationship. It can lead to mistrust and a lack of confidence in the relationship.

• Comparison can lead to feelings of jealousy and resentment: If you are constantly comparing your partner to others, you may begin to feel jealous or resentful of their relationships with others. This can cause negative emotions and eventually harm your relationship.

• When you compare your partner to others, you may develop unrealistic expectations about how your relationship should be. This can put a lot of pressure on your partner and lead to disappointment and frustration.

• Comparing your connection to others diminishes its distinctive qualities: Every relationship has its own special qualities and characteristics. When you evaluate your relationship in comparison to others, you risk missing out on the unique elements and moments that make it unique and significant.

• Comparing yourself to others might keep you from focusing on the issues in your own relationship and improving it. Instead of focusing on the faults in your connection, you are focusing on what others have.

It’s important to remember that every relationship is different and should be appreciated for its own unique qualities. Comparison is definitely one of the easiest ways to kill a relationship.

Instead of comparing your relationship to others, focus on the things that make your relationship special. You should focus on working on building a strong and healthy relationship with your partner. Never go this route as it usually comes back to bite.

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Bottomline on the easiest ways to kill a relationship

If you are wondering why relationships die off so easily then look out for these factors that are capable of draining the air out of the relationship.

Partners can make mistakes sometimes and get forgiven and then the relationship continues. There are other issues like Financial issues, lack of attention, etc that can be an issue and everyone knows that it is.

While some other issues develop without being sensed.

It’s crucial to be mindful of the things that could potentially ruin your relationships because relationships can be delicate.

In a nutshell, a few of the easiest ways to kill a relationship include not having relationship goals that both parties are leaning on, cutting off communication, comparing your relationship and your partner to others, and using ill and abusive words on your partner. 

These points can silently and easily kill a relationship behind the scene and no one would sense the end coming.

The issues discussed in this post often surface gradually over time, rather than being immediately apparent.

Somehow these issues build up over time before they materialize and they can come as a surprise if one party eventually decides they are no longer willing to continue. Then comes the question from the other person – ‘when did you reach this decision?

And then, the other party may try to plead for the relationship, but by that point, the damage has been done and the decision has been made.

This simply means that relationship anxiety has already taken its effect over time until a decision to move ahead was reached.

Do not neglect these points in your relationship if you intend to stay happy in your relationship over time.

Relationships are tough and easy at the same time. It is not a bed of roses. You must be aware, and learn how to keep it going. Learn how to navigate its ups and downs, learn how to avoid what needs to be avoided.

If you get the opportunity, from time to time, go for relationship counseling to get relationship advice even when everything is going smoothly in your relationship. You need to learn from other people’s stories and mistakes. 

Read relationship-related books that can help improve your relationship. Put in the time to help your relationship grow by being conscious all the way.

By keeping an open mind, you can learn the little things that can possibly kill a relationship and you can prevent them from happening to you. By so doing, you can have a happy and healthy relationship and you will be glad to share your tips with others.