Think about it for a few seconds… who is a true friend? Obviously, the term ‘friend’ isn’t that easy to define as we may think it is. In the case of trying to define the phrase ‘true friend’, the focus is without a doubt on the word ‘true’.
Relationships in the form of friendship is a generic practiced around the world. Often do we misunderstand the concept in the word ‘friend’?
The word ‘friend’ might mean different things to different people at different times and circumstances.
Often, we live our wholes lives with less or no thought given to
- how we choose friends,
- who we make friends, and
- why we make friends.
We get carried away in the Friend-making process that we fail to answer some crucial questions like – ‘what is the need for making friends?’
I personally believe that every single being on earth has a purpose why s/he exists and that purpose is part of the reasons why we breathe.
Often, we live our whole lives without finding our purpose for living. On the other hand, most people at some point in their lives come to the point of realization where they are aware that they are alive for a purpose but then are hindered by factors that hit them hard that they trip without ever standing up again.
These different factors that can hinder us in life can come in the form of:
- Life circumstances: this can include poverty, war
- Power
- Money
- Friends
- Parental upbringing
- Self-decisions
- The environment etc.
All these and many more can be reasons why we change and go out of our own way in life sometimes.
For instance, one of the easiest and most influential of them all are friends. This is because they tend to catch us at an early stage of our lives even when we have been given a solid foundation by our parents to build on which is why it is said that the adversity won over friends makes a man strong.
Apart from catching up with us in the early stages of our lives or at any stage in our lives, friends tend to affect our decision-making process even in the most crucial moments when we least expect.
Often, we end up making wrong decisions because we listened to someone we termed our friend and in the end, we regret our moves which might not be retrievable or corrected afterward.
A friend as defined by the oxford living dictionary is “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mental affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.”
Merriam Webster dictionary defined it as “a person who you like and enjoy being with who helps or supports someone or something.”
Given the definition, a friend can be anyone you know or you like, and enjoy being connected to. it can be anyone whom you seek from and vice versa. It could a person whom you find comfort in. There is no direct way to holistically define the one ‘friend’.
We will like to look at a friend in a general term as anyone who knows us or whom we know have a connection within our minds.
Different forms of Friends
We would like to say that friends generally can exist as:
- True friends
- Real friends
- Good friends
- Bad friends
- Fake friends etc
To have a friend under any of the above categories is dependent on who they are as individuals on a personal basis.
Undoubtedly, it takes time and situations to differentiate one from the other. Friends are very important add-ons in our lives. In Hubert H. Humphrey words “the greatest gift of life is friendship and I have received it.”
An important point we tend to neglect a lot is that not everyone is capable of being a true friend, which is why we can classify them among these different categories.
Clearly, you can’t seek to find a good friend in a person full of negativity and pessimism within their own life. In addition, you can’t find a real friend in someone whose life is full of pretense or in a con person.
Definitely, you have to be like him to find him or her real or good as it is who you are.
Who is a true friend?
The question is – who is a true friend? A true friend is a stranger turned friend in our hearts who is true to himself, and to us.
As a friend, he is a real and open friend. Also, a straight forward friend – one who is transparent and explicit in expressing his view about you without fear or favor.
A true friend can be selfless in addressing your situation, he speaks to you with a mind that if he doesn’t then his conscience would forever judge him, so he tells you anyways even when it means telling you might cause him to lose out on something important which you may be the only one to provide.
People who turn out to be your true friends are people you least expect, normally rare individuals. They are quite difficult to come by.
They tend to make decisions with their conscience and they live their lives to please their conscience especially when it comes to matters concerning you. They are most times people with empathy.
A true friend is a realist who wouldn’t mice words to please you. He or she is direct and blunt in speaking to you and would tell you what they think is right while also allowing you to make the final decision.
You can look at a true friend as a strong room for the safe deposit of your emotional issues, secrets and psychological problems.
They are capable of absorbing your problems and in other cases directing you towards a solution which they may go to lengths to find when they are unable to help out directly.
You will know their true nature when you offend them, in spite of such, they would never trade your secret to satisfy their ego or to get revenge on you.
To them, it’s not worth it and that’s why I join the train in saying “if you find one true friend, you have found a gift more valuable than gold because they are the rarest of all kinds of human gifts just like a precious gem.
Clearly, they do all these because of love for you as a person.
In addition, they believe that there is something special about you that draws them towards you, as a result, they intend to find out, not only…but also wish to find ways to help you if need be.
True friends are like investment vehicles, you can invest your thoughts, secrets, and emotions in them and still feel safe, and if they find it in their hearts to help you, they will take you to a destination you would never have imagined you could go on your own.
If you have ever found one, then you would notice that distance does not keep them away from you even when they are far away from you.
If you are a true friend to someone, you will notice in your heart that sometimes you could go the extra mile to say you would never leave this one person alone until he or she fulfills his or her purpose or until he or she becomes better at something or succeeds in life.
In such a case, you happen to be the one to always draw him or her up when it looks like s/he is about to go down even when you are not sure how you could go about it – It’s just a mindset.
One of the reasons why such people are rare is because they are embodiments of lots of personalities, often they exhibit the deep human feelings that they only feel should be applied to a specific set of persons.
So, they can go around searching for that one person who might be worth investing their time and knowledge in.
How a True Friend select friends that they keep close to their Hearts
If these set of individuals are truly rare and unique in their personalities, obviously, it means that for them to select you as one who they want to keep close to their hearts, you must possess something rare and unique too within you to attract them towards you.
The percentage of rareness doesn’t really count to them, what does is the substance in you and how real you are in exhibiting them.
For them to love you, probably, you will only need to exhibit one rare attitude exceptionally right without pretense or camouflage which is something that must come from within you. An attitude or character that is rarely seen among people.
You have to be real to the core and must always replicate the same rare attitude they noticed in you that attracted them to you each day of your life.
You wouldn’t know about these, but they are observant, from the first day they notice a rare attitude in you, they will continually observe your every other move.
Because they want to be really certain that this is the real you before they put their hearts in.
They are not really moved by what you do for them but are moved more by what you do for others.
To impress them, you must have a unique substance inside you that is rare which you personally might not have identified.
A little bit of a rare character and love towards others can trigger them to set their focus on you. Who is a true friend? Are you one to someone? Have you found one?
Bottom-line
We may all have different ways of answering the ‘Who is a true friend’ question depending on our experiences in life.
While some of us may never meet one in our entire lives, nevertheless, some of us get lucky enough to meet one.
Without a doubt, true friends are for sure rare to come by. Besides, a lot of us ‘humans’ are more inclined to taking care of only ourselves.
What makes these sets of persons your true friend and not every other person’s true friend is their selfless acts towards you – a special attitude directed towards you.
To others, they may be tough, hard, wicked, etc., but to you, they are free-spirited.
True friends don’t feel any obligation to be your friend. You don’t find true friends, they find you. Unquestionably, they are not perfect but are the perfect friend anyone can ever have.
You can check out this post on how to identify true friends.
Also, we will like to know if you think you are a true friend to someone or if you may have found one who mesmerized you and you can’t still believe that he or she is real? Tell us…who is a true friend to you?
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