Major difference between a best friend and a true friend

We often confuse a ‘best friend’ and a ‘true friend’. We sometimes think that a ‘best friend’ is also a ‘true friend’ just because they are closer to us when compared to other friends we may have. The truth is that this is often true but rarely is it so.

Some people are stuck with people in the name of ‘best friends’ – Friendship that they no longer want to be a part of but do not know how to break free.

Most times we take them to be the same, but the fact remains that they are two terms with diverse characteristics.

Understanding how they differ can enable us to compare and differentiate the current friends we mingle with, at best putting them in the right category.

The major difference between a best friend and a true friend (if you ever come across one) is found in their individuality and their mode of association.

It’s important to note that a true friend can turn to become our best friend, on the other hand, rarely can a best friend become a true friend. In other cases, most times best friends can turn out to be our true friends in the long run.

This is because choosing a best friend is a selective process in which we can decide on whether to accept or not, we choose them or accept their proposals, or sometimes it just happens without our knowledge or approval.

In the case of true friends, they choose us, unless we are the True friend at the choosing end. And it goes beyond age or gender.

How best friends differ from true friends

Best friend

Indeed, when considering the phrase ‘best friend’, the emphasis tends to lie on the word ‘best’.

Obviously, when we say ‘best friend, it simply means that there exist other close friends amongst the friends, where one amongst the rest is chosen as the best of them all.

Meaning that we can meet a better friend and add them to our list of friends or even make him or her the top-rated friend – the best.

The distinct thing about choosing a best friend is that it is mostly determined by the power of association. A very powerful factor that can bond people together.

Charlotte Bronte says it right, “Out of association grows adhesion, and out of adhesion Amalgamation.

The power of association is too real, strong and shouldn’t be neglected in any way as we meet different people in life.

Obviously, when you check the word ‘adhesion’, it simply means sticking or attaching to something, while the term ‘amalgamation’ is more of uniting. There is a mix, or let us call it fusion that brings about blending.

This is simply a platform from which we choose best friends. Best friends are more dictated by association.

The higher the degree of closeness, the higher the tendency of sticking together with someone increases, and it rarely asks if character or attitude is good or bad.

If an atom of traits like understanding, respect, care, and most importantly strong association which leads to the closeness between two persons is found present, then best friends can easily be formed.

Even with only association, two persons can easily become ‘best of friends’.

It usually begins most times unintended. You grow fond of a person, hang out with the person often, talk about virtually anything, in addition to this you also begin to seek their advice at some point due to the fact that you are close to them.

They can help you when you need them, clearly, you may begin to share secrets together and lots more.

And then, all of a sudden, you just wake up someday to realize that you have become best friends with that particular person. It can be funny and very tricky at times.

The issue about having a best friend is that the moment we realize that we are best of friends with someone, our brain tends to feel that entitlement mentality that they should automatically be indebted to us and so should always do our bid in other to show commitment to the friendship.

This is the problem with most friendships that exist in the name of best friends. For some persons, this alliance can turn out to be a great one, while for some a bad one.

Let’s look at some characteristics that we expect from our best friends which they try their best to exhibit even when it isn’t from their hearts.

Imagine the last time you had a best friend or you thought you had one, or you do have one currently. What character did they exhibit? Let list a few…

A best friend can be honest to a certain level where other normal friends find it difficult to admit when it comes to matters concerning you.

They can be free and open whenever they are with you, as well as being supportive when you are in need.

They can be good/bad advisers depending on their perspective of reasoning and the situation involved. They are mostly seen around you whenever there is a chance

They are like your close relations because they may be friends of the family, in addition, they are likely to understand you better compared to other close friends of yours.

They can be trust-worthy to an extent and can be really very good companions.

Sometimes making a best friend can be a need made up inside our heads and we may term anyone our best friend depending on how close we are to them and how they treat us.

In such a case, distance can make best friends cease being one. This is because the ‘friendship’ is more inside their heads than in their hearts.

What distance does to persons with the best friend mentality is that if they happen to move to a new area, and along the line happen to find someone else who becomes very close to them, who may be caring also, then at this point there is a high possibility that a new best friend will be made.

Best friends are a little different from true friends. So how do true friends differ? Let’s look at true friends a bit.

True Friend

A true friend is like gold, a gem, very rare to come by. Their feelings for your ware-fare just goes a bit deeper than usual.

They do things for you not because they owe you or you own them anything but because they think you deserve better in life.

They are often known for their personality and individual character. In most cases, they can be labeled as being too-good to you.

They choose you because of who you are, because of a particular trait in you which they feel makes you special and rare. Association doesn’t have any effect on their choice of you.

In this case, a true friend would hardly choose you as a friend if you do not have something unique that amazes their mind. Because that unique attitude of yours creates love in their soul.

Distance is nothing to them when it comes to issues that concern you, because, s/he has attached you in their heart and is fully aware of that fact.

True friends’ love you for who you are and don’t really care about what others may think of you.

Having a true friend can be one-sided most times because a true friend can find you, while on the other hand, you may take him or her as just one of your friends.

A true friend doesn’t really care whether you return a favor or not, because they don’t see friendship with you as a favor-returning act.

Also, they give you the best of themselves as a result of your unique individuality. It may be that you do your best in your own little way to help others even when there is no reward or there is no one watching.

It may be about the selfless love you share with others, your character and composure – that alone can be a reason why you can be chosen as such acts true amazes them. It can be anything, you may not know it.

True friends are sort of hard to come by, they can be selfless in nature especially to you and their understanding of you is a bit deep such that you do not need to explain yourself every time to them. Your actions towards life tell them a lot of stories about you.

They can be mean, smart and intelligent, and that is why they are able to find another rare gem as you who they can keep to their heart. You don’t need to be perfect, you only need to be yourself to be considered by them.

They build a nursing feeling with you. According to Les Brown, “there are nursing type of relationship. It is certain that when they are there with you, they help to grow you.”

Obviously, if they get the chance, they could advise you probably more than your parents would ever do, lol! Don’t get me wrong, it’s possible.

To others, they may appear wicked or too tough, but with you, they are like angels sent from above.

They always respect you, and your decisions but wouldn’t fail to give their opinion.

They give you thousands of reasons why you will succeed, and they pray for you In their private time.

They are ready to give you all the support you need to grow and become better. They choose you, you don’t choose them.

Bottom line

It’s very important we understand who our best friend is and who our true friend is.

A true friend is more predictable when they are your friend, this is due to the fact that they are rare individuals, while on the other hand, a best friend is less predictable, though time and experience with you can increase their predictability level.

You don’t want to wait around to find out anyways. Conflict of interest in individuality is what makes the difference, which is why from day one, you can predict a true friend if you have the wisdom to look with the mind.

Clearly, a lot of us may have best friends we trust who have never disappointed us before.

Don’t get it wrongly, best friends are great, and exhibit characters very similar to those of true friends, nevertheless, they are not just the same.

It is unfair to perceive having a best friend like an obligation or a trophy. We should be more concerned about the content and substance than the mere words and feelings attached to having someone we call a best friend.

How do you see best friends and true friends? do you have one in your life or have you ever had one in the past? We will like to hear from you in the comment section below?