How to easily Identify a Mutual Friendship

The existence of Mutual friendship can be rare to come around. To two people who know each other so well, it can elude them without their knowledge.

Mutual friendship in this case is when the focus is brought to a relationship where the two persons agree within their hearts of hearts that they love the other person as a ‘friend’.

Not to get things twisted, sexual affinity is out of context in this case. We are talking about a case where a guy has this close guy friend whom they spend so much time with.

The picture being painted in this scenario is in a situation where two persons who see each other daily, maybe at a workplace or school, church, mosque, or a workout section begin to talk and have long conversations over time and then with time, it creeps into one person’s mind that they are now friends without knowing what the other person thinks about it.

Of course, a major challenge that erupts such misunderstanding most times is a person’s definition and understanding of the word ‘friend’.

As simple as the word ‘friends’ may sound, it is ambiguous in its true definition because it can be defined in different ways by different people.

To one person, once he or she is comfortable talking and conversing with the other person, automatically they become friends.

This event happens too often at the workplace as most of us spend so much time together with a particular colleague with whom we become familiar over time.

They know almost everything about our lives, what we love & hate, our family & our hobbies.

But suddenly we tend to sometimes feel we have become friends with them because we talk about almost everything.

We forget that human behavior can be forced to relapse and adapt in order to feel comfortable when what it used to be is not available.

For instance, an introvert newly employed as a salesperson will tend to learn to talk more and mingle more because they have to rapport with people to close deals.

A person who is solitary in nature over time can give in and begin to talk because of the environment they find themselves.

They can become free and speak at length, in other words, they break the chain of solitude just to blend into the environment.

Considering mutual friendship, a solitary person might feel that they are just having a good time, and you on the other hand are busy thinking that you have become friends with them because they are now able to freely talk with you.

The aftermath and disappointment that come with learning the truth about what People we spend a whole lot of time with think about us when the question of friendship is put before them can be heartbreaking if we do not take time to understand what people think of us in their heart.

In a nutshell, knowing people, speaking to people, and spending so much time with people don’t necessarily make them our ‘friends’. And in no way does it make you mutual friends with them.

Don’t get it wrong, these types of people, you can be your friend, but for the puzzle ‘mutual friend’ to be complete, they must also think of you in the same manner.

A supposed friend when he or she realizes how much you feel about them, might find it difficult to tell you the truth about how they feel towards you in order not to hurt your feelings.

This is true because humans are emotional beings.

When a supposed friend benefits a lot from having you around, they will find it difficult to admit that they do not feel the same way about you.

Mutual friendship is not just about sharing the same interests, values, or beliefs about life in general. It is beyond sharing similar characteristics.

It is really about these similarities forming a resonance with the person’s self-decision to let you in.

Some people may like you as a person but not consider you a friend.

If one fails to think about how they feel towards you and what they think you are to them, then that decision would never be reached regardless of whatever event you two may have passed through together.

You may be someone whom they are using to have a pass in life. 

Do not feel all bad about it because you on the other hand might be doing it to someone else without knowing.

True friendships that last are not formed as a result of having a close association with someone.

They are formed through decisions. In other words, mutual friendship is formed as a result of decisions reached within the hearts of two people who see each other as friends.

Once this point is reached, two people can happily say they are mutual friends without doubts.

So how do you know if your friendship is mutual?

How do you know that the supposed friendship you feel in your heart for a supposed friend is mutual?

We will look at these points that can help you decipher in a simple way, assuming you see them as friends in your heart.

To know if a person sees you as a friend beyond being an acquaintance, you may observe the following:

1. They have to be emotionally connected to you

2. They have to be able to make a definite self-decision by categorizing you as a friend.

3. They would directly tell you or indirectly show you how much you mean to them through their actions.

4. They will openly admit to the world how much you mean to them when they get the chance to.

And this is why there are other ways we can mitigate the emotional harm that comes with knowing that someone is or is not truly our friend. 

Using words like ‘connection, acquaintance, instead of ‘friend’ does justice to this.

At some point, we’ll flip people from friends to connections and to acquaintances. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having people as acquaintances rather than friends in your heart.

Your mind needs to be at peace with the ones you call friends because they should bring you a form of happiness.

If this isn’t the case with you, then you should have a reconsideration of the ties you keep around you.