How to help a child develop a common-sense reasoning mindset early in life

A common-sense reasoning mindset is usually seen as common on the surface, but in practice it is uncommon.

I don’t think most people formed most values, beliefs, and views about life once they grew to be adults. I believe they did most of that while they were still kids.

Today, most of us try our best to be subtle to change, but I still find it hard to change some old habits.

We often feel that everybody is capable of learning and adapting to change. While that assertion may be true, it is very difficult on certain grounds.

Learning as we all know is a continuous process that every man will continue to undergo until death, but while it is easy for others to learn and change it is difficult for some.

Why is this so? The ‘why’ is the reason it is necessary to begin to teach a child from a tender age the optimal way to live because their chances of learning and changing is the easiest at such a stage.

Let’s put it this way. It is difficult to change an adult from his old habits. You can preach and sing to him all you want from year to year and it will somehow prove difficult to adapt because he or she is not used to changing over the years.

That might sound a bit shallow. Let’s use an example to break this down.

Let’s say you have an old dog that is 30 years of age that you have never taught a skill before, and on the other hand, you have a puppy that is just 6 months that you have been teaching how to catch a ball when you throw it up and call upon it to catch.

And then suddenly, one fateful day, you decided to start teaching that same trick you taught the puppy to the old dog that you have been with for years.

Well, the thing there is that it will be difficult for that old dog to adapt to your new rule as you have not been practicing stuff like that with it over time.

To the dog, it’s new and would take it some time if it is to adapt. But for the little dog, it’s nothing because its mind has been set to adopt new tricks. So even if it should get to 30 in age and you still keep teaching it different more skills, it would be very much easier for it to learn quickly without much stress.

If you stop teaching the dog along the line when its brain is still tender, it might forget the rules of the game, and then it will become difficult for it to learn.

This is the same with us human beings. The moment we fail to keep our minds flexible to adopt new things, we find it extremely challenging to change a habit or attitude. And that is the reason why we usually see ourselves falling back to the same old habits we have been trying and running away from.

The reason is that it is difficult to learn or change when the mindset is not set from the beginning to be flexible to accept change.

In this information-driven digital world, all we need is to develop the mindset that allows for change. But most importantly, train the little children to have a mindset that allows for flexibility.

With that, they can be able to adapt easily to the ever-changing world which will be their decision.

Everything is gradually moving towards creativity and it’s only a flexible mindset that can survive the outcome. We can’t be fixed-minded and creative, how can creativity emerge?

Kids are the future and whatever is to be done for the future must be done with them in consideration.

You do not need to be married to know this.

Even if you are not getting it right on your own, it is your duty to help your children. It should be everyone’s wish for their children to have a better life.

I doubt if criminals ever wish for their children to follow their path –  that could be a sign of how much they love their children. They wouldn’t want their children to get hurt, so the sensible ones make sure they are not in any way put in harm’s way.

If you truly love your children as you think you do, then you must help them find their path, probably better than what you had, and that might require that you teach them how to be different in their line of thinking.

Don’t wait for your child to grow up before you begin to teach them what they need to know about life. Don’t wait on them to start failing exams before you begin to teach them how to study and read. You have to begin when they are still little.

I have had an experience, in a situation where a mum told me that her daughter who was fond of misbehaving was doing so because she was still a kid.

She told me that her daughter will change once she grew up. This means that she was using age as a determinant for the likeliness of her daughter changing her bad attitude over time.

Helping children form their views about life in the right way is one of the ways adults can contribute to nation-building.

They must be taught how to think for themselves.

They must be taught how to manage their emotions at an early stage.

They must be taught about life in general and shouldn’t be left to chance.

Steps to take to help a child develop a common-sense reasoning mindset

One of the most important lessons any reasonable adult should focus on when assisting a child to find their way of thinking is to help them find their common-sense reasoning mindset… i.e for kids who have not found theirs already.

Some kids at an early stage begin to think for themselves without being told how to. They sort of develop a rare kind of adult-like reasoning that can wow anyone.

But then they also need to be guided and followed up to help them develop it more. It is just nature-given and they begin to develop it from there.

On the other hand, there are other kids who need to be taught and guided on how to form their thinking path. For these kids, close observation and follow-up are paramount until they are able to learn to think on their own.

We will look at an approach we can take when trying to guide a child in order to help them develop their own sense of reasoning which we can call ‘common-sense reasoning mindset’.

The common-sense approach we will consider in this case will be outlined in two steps:

Step 1: Understanding the concept of common-sense reasoning mindset

One of the most important steps to take when trying to help get a kid to reason in a certain frequency as regards building their ‘common-sense reasoning mindset’ early in life is by making them understand the concept on time.

The awareness of the concept of ‘common-sense reasoning mindset’ is the first call of action for anyone who wishes to teach their children about being sane or thinking straight.

You can’t go around shouting and screaming at them to think like reasonable people or compare them to other kids around. That would be the worst move to make to achieve your goal.

Children are fragile in heart, and how you treat them will determine how they’ll respond to your teachings. The common-sense reasoning thing to do on your part is to apply your common sense by making sure you don’t forcefully try to tell them what to do when you have not explained to them what it is you really mean by applying common sense reasoning.

You need to start with the definition and explanation of what you really mean followed up with instances using your own attitude as an example if possible.

Allowing them to see the need why it is important in life and how it can affect their output in every aspect of their life will go a long way in fine-tuning and preparing their minds to understand and adapt when the need comes.

If you can get them to understand the need why you want them to understand the concept of common-sense reasoning mindset and how it will play an important role in their lives right from an early age, then you have set them up on a path to forming their own life beliefs which will have your teachings as a base for them to build on.

Step 2: Implementing the ‘common-sense reasoning mindset’ concept in real-life situations

It isn’t enough to describe a concept to a person if that person does not know how to apply the concept. This simply means that the first step becomes useless without the second step.

In a nutshell, sending a child to school wouldn’t be enough if there are no teachers to teach that child. It becomes a waste of time and resources.

Going by our first instance of making the child understand a concept, the child may have understood the need for going to school, but if no one is there to put the child through in real time, the child ends up confused .

This is the same thing that happens when you decide to help a child understand and use their common-sense reasoning mindset in their daily lives without showing them what you mean.

The right way, if not the best way to make it more effective is to hold them by the hand, and teach them – action and practice are what this step calls for. It is beyond talking and explaining.

Allow them to make mistakes, then calmly replay the situation to them from the beginning, bringing their reaction into perspective.

Make them understand that it is okay to react the way they did, but they can change their reaction next time if they can consider a perspective they didn’t know about in life earlier.

Of course, many a time, we tend to see other people’s shortcomings more than we can see ours.  So it is even easier to detect the point where the child goes astray since your mind is in every move they make, every word that comes out their mouth.

The essence of guiding a child through this process is so that in time you will not have to be there to tell them how to think or what to do when faced with different challenging life situations.

The Impact the adult character have on a child’s common-sense reasoning mindset

Through observation, kids tend to learn from the reaction of adults around them, especially their parents. This is more reason why an early stage when their minds are still fragile is the best period to instill the common-sense reasoning mindset way of thinking and seeing life.

Also, it is more reason why adult issues should be kept away from kids until they are able to form their way of thinking and seeing life.

You don’t want a situation later in their lives where you have to keep shouting at a child because they are not thinking the way you envisioned they would. Begin today to work on their minds when they are very little.

You got only one shot at it, which is when they are still very dependent on you. The other shot will be when they learn about life through others or through the hard way (tragic events or experiences).

But not everyone gets that chance at life. Why not begin today to prepare your minds on taking baby steps to help your kids form the right mindset of thoughts which will enable them to think for themselves

You do not need to wait until a kid is up to 3 or 4 or 15 years of age before you begin to teach him or her how to form their thinking pattern. 

If you allow them to form their own sense of reasoning without a guide, then they may end up developing the thinking pattern of their friends whom they spend most of their time with. And if you are unlucky, they will form the wrong thinking mindsets.  

Bottom Line

One of the major challenges with helping a child develop their sense of awareness is in a case where the adult on their own lacks common sense reasoning mindset. At this point, it becomes difficult to help a child with theirs.

Do not be the person that says ‘my baby is too little to understand these things. If you think in that fashion, you may be surprised at your own reaction when that same kid grows up and begins to act in ways you can’t comprehend or imagine.

You don’t want to have a heart of regrets. A lot of people out of pity and in the name of so-called ‘Love’ fail to put their kids on the right track at an early stage when they should. They leave it to ‘my baby will learn when s/he comes of age.

But what happens when that baby grows up and gets it all wrong in their way of thinking is that ‘the father or mother will end up shouting and being depressed due to the attitude of their kid.

Yes, taking care of a kid and providing for their needs are important things to do to keep them happy, but teaching them how to think and live for themselves is more important because they won’t remain children forever.

Parents have to make a choice between using love as a cover-up and teaching the child the right way to think.

True love is care, it is sacrifice and support. Your understanding of love in its true sense and how you apply it to your kids will determine how you will raise them.

Always keep it very close to your mind that helping your children develop a common-sense reasoning mindset is a no-brainer act.

Do not leave that part of their life to chance or time. Start early and save yourself the stress. If you don’t, you may find yourself trying to micro-manage them as they come of age.

Kids are important to the future of every nation. How you raise yours will have an impact on the nation in one way or the other.

Try your best, make out time to have conversations with them, talk things through with them, correct them when you should, teach them about life and if you can’t, take them to programs where they can learn more.

It is also true that some kids naturally possess the skill of using their common-sense reasoning mindset in their everyday activities.

Though for most, the environment plays a major role in helping them maintain and remain in that state of mind which is why irrespective of how you may think they are sensible, always keep in touch with their challenges as they may need your input to help them form a particular thinking pattern for a particular situation.

Take your time to think this through, because you have a big role to play in the life of that kid you are neglecting in the name of love. Life can remain complex in our minds if we decide not to do anything about decomplexing it.